October


All excerpts from the journal were written by Ashley. The journal covers May 7 - November 11, 2013. No changes or edits have been made to anything she wrote. Some names have been redacted.

 

October 2, 2013

October 2, 2013 Kenan’s Dr. Appt. Today is Kenan’s day to get checked out. I’m not with him which I feel bad about that. He’s been so supportive to me and being at home kinda makes me feel like I’m not concerned but he didn’t want me to miss my talk tonight. My talk is up, I just have to either print it out or write it up on some note cards. I’m nervous at this point about walking up the steps to the table. I’m going to get Amanda to help me up to steps because it would take me forever to walk around that ramp

October 2, 2013 Kenan’s Dr. Appt.

Today is Kenan’s day to get checked out. I’m not with him which I feel bad about that. He’s been so supportive to me and being at home kinda makes me feel like I’m not concerned but he didn’t want me to miss my talk tonight. My talk is up, I just have to either print it out or write it up on some note cards. I’m nervous at this point about walking up the steps to the table. I’m going to get Amanda to help me up to steps because it would take me forever to walk around that ramp

My leg is feeling a little better today. Maybe my new meds are working and it will continue to get better from here on out. My leg is still tingling but now instead of it being the whole leg it is now mostly just my foot. My calf hurts but I think that is mostly because of me walking on it and stretching it out. We’ll see.  So I really have to turn this tv off and finish studying for the meeting tonight and finish getting my talk ready. There is so much to do and I don’t have the energy today for all of that.

My leg is feeling a little better today. Maybe my new meds are working and it will continue to get better from here on out. My leg is still tingling but now instead of it being the whole leg it is now mostly just my foot. My calf hurts but I think that is mostly because of me walking on it and stretching it out. We’ll see. 

So I really have to turn this tv off and finish studying for the meeting tonight and finish getting my talk ready. There is so much to do and I don’t have the energy today for all of that.

October 3, 2013

October 3, 2013 MRI tomorrow I have my MRI scheduled tomorrow to see if they can figure out what is going on with my leg. Yesterday I discovered that it gets cold and hurts bad so maybe it is a circulation problem. Who knows? Not even the doctors. What can i say… I’m a mystery. Yesterday, Kenan’s appt revealed that he has a cyst of sorts growing on top of his carotid artery. That could be tricky. He goes back Monday for his cat scan which just so happens to be the day I get the results of my MRI. We are definitely old! LOL. We schedule our dr. apps together.

October 3, 2013 MRI tomorrow

I have my MRI scheduled tomorrow to see if they can figure out what is going on with my leg. Yesterday I discovered that it gets cold and hurts bad so maybe it is a circulation problem. Who knows? Not even the doctors. What can i say… I’m a mystery. Yesterday, Kenan’s appt revealed that he has a cyst of sorts growing on top of his carotid artery. That could be tricky. He goes back Monday for his cat scan which just so happens to be the day I get the results of my MRI. We are definitely old! LOL. We schedule our dr. apps together.

Today we slept in and then went in service. Kenan was trying to round out the colleges and he had a study. Both were successful. Yay! And next time he will be able to count that study. That is so good.

Today we slept in and then went in service. Kenan was trying to round out the colleges and he had a study. Both were successful. Yay! And next time he will be able to count that study. That is so good.

October 6, 2013

we went to the celtic festival which we got rained out of. We were with Jason and Dee and had decided to stay the night but of course we had to eat. Cotton it is. They were booked up, so we sat at the bar and ate appetizers until our table was ready. Slade and Tara showed up too.

we went to the celtic festival which we got rained out of. We were with Jason and Dee and had decided to stay the night but of course we had to eat. Cotton it is. They were booked up, so we sat at the bar and ate appetizers until our table was ready. Slade and Tara showed up too.

The rest of my day, I want to be filled with relaxation. I think Kenan will be home around 4 although I kinda wish it was a little later. I don’t know what is up with me. I guess I’m just wanting some “me” alone time. Tomorrow we have a day full of doctors appointments. It is going to be a very long day. I think that I am just worn out thinking about it and thats what is getting to me.

The rest of my day, I want to be filled with relaxation. I think Kenan will be home around 4 although I kinda wish it was a little later. I don’t know what is up with me. I guess I’m just wanting some “me” alone time. Tomorrow we have a day full of doctors appointments. It is going to be a very long day. I think that I am just worn out thinking about it and thats what is getting to me.

October 7, 2013

Oct 7, 2013 MRI Results for me - Cat Scan for Kenan Busy day for us. Basically we will be at the hospital all day. I sadly already got irritated at Kenan and I later felt sorry for that, almost immediately actually. It was pretty dumb. But I felt like he wasn’t concerned about my appointment. I know he is tired but he knew what time my appointment was to begin with. Anyway I called to tell them we were running behind and it wasn't a big deal but still an appt time is an appt time.

Oct 7, 2013 MRI Results for me - Cat Scan for Kenan

Busy day for us. Basically we will be at the hospital all day. I sadly already got irritated at Kenan and I later felt sorry for that, almost immediately actually. It was pretty dumb. But I felt like he wasn’t concerned about my appointment. I know he is tired but he knew what time my appointment was to begin with. Anyway I called to tell them we were running behind and it wasn't a big deal but still an appt time is an appt time.

Now we just have to see if the drs. found anything with the MRI. Next step is a cat scan that I have scheduled next week. They may bump that date up tho if the MRI doesn't show anything.

Now we just have to see if the drs. found anything with the MRI. Next step is a cat scan that I have scheduled next week. They may bump that date up tho if the MRI doesn't show anything.

october 8, 2013

October 8, 2013 Field Service Kelly picked me up for field service today. It was nice to get out and do some doors.  So back to yesterday because I went in cognito after the hospital. My brain MRI was ok so the scheduled one for my spine, tomorrow actually. My MRI is @ 1 pm, Kenan’s result appt is @ 1:15. Ha! Maybe his will be running behind a little. I really want to be there for his results

October 8, 2013 Field Service

Kelly picked me up for field service today. It was nice to get out and do some doors. 

So back to yesterday because I went in cognito after the hospital. My brain MRI was ok so the scheduled one for my spine, tomorrow actually. My MRI is @ 1 pm, Kenan’s result appt is @ 1:15. Ha! Maybe his will be running behind a little. I really want to be there for his results

I’ll get my results next Tuesday and to tell you the truth I am most scared about them. Something is causing my leg to not work and my thought has always been on the spots close to the spine pinching on nerves. And I know that the MRI won’t show anything about my lungs but they have been making noise too. I’ve been feeling good other than my leg. I’m just afraid it’s the tumors in my stomach are getting bigger. I haven’t been doing much to hinder it any from growing that is. I guess we will know more next week when I get my results.

I’ll get my results next Tuesday and to tell you the truth I am most scared about them. Something is causing my leg to not work and my thought has always been on the spots close to the spine pinching on nerves. And I know that the MRI won’t show anything about my lungs but they have been making noise too. I’ve been feeling good other than my leg. I’m just afraid it’s the tumors in my stomach are getting bigger. I haven’t been doing much to hinder it any from growing that is. I guess we will know more next week when I get my results.

October 26, 2013

Oct 26 Yep sitting on a bed side toilet w absolutely no feeling in my legs and my hands are wobbly too because Tammy hit my morphine button before they put me on this contraption. Shoot I’ll be surprised if half of this message is even illigible after all is said and written stuff needs to come out tho. It really does. My tummy is so bloated and big. It hurts and I imagine that it can’t possibly be helping with the tumors pressing. I can barely focus at the moment because I feel my heart racing and heavy breathing.

Oct 26

Yep sitting on a bed side toilet w absolutely no feeling in my legs and my hands are wobbly too because Tammy hit my morphine button before they put me on this contraption. Shoot I’ll be surprised if half of this message is even illigible after all is said and written stuff needs to come out tho. It really does. My tummy is so bloated and big. It hurts and I imagine that it can’t possibly be helping with the tumors pressing. I can barely focus at the moment because I feel my heart racing and heavy breathing.

October 30, 2013

Oct 30, 2013 Still in the hospital and I will be here for a while. I’ll be doing radiation here since they will be able to manage my pain better. Ultimately that is the goal. No pain!! As you can tell my pain meds are in and working. My words and writing are very messy.

Oct 30, 2013

Still in the hospital and I will be here for a while. I’ll be doing radiation here since they will be able to manage my pain better. Ultimately that is the goal. No pain!! As you can tell my pain meds are in and working. My words and writing are very messy.

Yesterday my radiation treatment was a disaster. I was in so much pain and I was there a long, long time. Today…much much better. Ultimately is it worth it? Well hopefully it will shrink the tumors I have

Yesterday my radiation treatment was a disaster. I was in so much pain and I was there a long, long time. Today…much much better. Ultimately is it worth it? Well hopefully it will shrink the tumors I have

A little over 2 weeks ago, I was walking and now I can’t move from my waist down, and now my left arm is starting to fell tingly. Maybe it is something only temporary otherwise I may have to start recording myself writing in a journal. I took a sponge bath today while Tammy was here so I feel so fresh and so clean clean. LOL! She checked my skin to make sure I am not getting sores. I’m not.

A little over 2 weeks ago, I was walking and now I can’t move from my waist down, and now my left arm is starting to fell tingly. Maybe it is something only temporary otherwise I may have to start recording myself writing in a journal. I took a sponge bath today while Tammy was here so I feel so fresh and so clean clean. LOL! She checked my skin to make sure I am not getting sores. I’m not.

I’m going to try to catch some ZZZ’s if that is going to be possible but we will at least try.

I’m going to try to catch some ZZZ’s if that is going to be possible but we will at least try.

October 31, 2013

Oct 31 Radiation went ok today. My transport was a little rocky. New nurse, new techniques. It was a rough at times

Oct 31

Radiation went ok today. My transport was a little rocky. New nurse, new techniques. It was a rough at times

New nurses just came in for the night. They seem very nice. Yalonda is main nurse and Sequana or something like that is my tech. Ms Yalonda hasn’t even looked at my meds yet so this might be a fun night. You know Jason and Dee and Slade and Tara stopping back by will lighten everything up. Also listening and trying to decipher what our neighbor is fussing about now. It’s sometimes a fun game. Well at the moment I’m getting sleepy so we will see how I sleep tonight.

New nurses just came in for the night. They seem very nice. Yalonda is main nurse and Sequana or something like that is my tech. Ms Yalonda hasn’t even looked at my meds yet so this might be a fun night. You know Jason and Dee and Slade and Tara stopping back by will lighten everything up. Also listening and trying to decipher what our neighbor is fussing about now. It’s sometimes a fun game.

Well at the moment I’m getting sleepy so we will see how I sleep tonight.

VISIT November TO CONTINUE READING ASHLEY'S JOURNAL.